Thursday, February 7, 2008

Britney Spears is going crazy.... I love it.

Britney Spears is slowly going insane and I for one fucking love it. I am a really twisted son of a bitch and I have no redeeming qualities, of these facts I am acutely aware, but there is a morbid curiosity not only felt by myself but by many others to watch the mighty fall. Ever drive down the road and see an accident and it looks really gnarly so you dont want to look but you do anyway and you dont see any blood or guts and for a split second you think to yourself, "SHIT!" Yeah you do you.
When I was 14-15? Britney Spears started swinging her saggy milk bags all over the TV in a Catholic school girl outfit, and oops... I did it again, I popped a boner thinking about it. As a 14 year old boy there was nothing "gayer" than liking Britney Spears, but we all jerked off like rhesus monkeys on Viagara when we saw her on TV or in magazines. Not that I have followed her career, but I have been aware of her music, and her movies, as being a fuctioning member of American society (who watches alot of TV) I am bombarded by pop culture all fucking day long, like we all are. Past couple of years... ol' Britney has been going, well.... completely balls to the roof of her mouth apeshit crazy.
Now I'm reading that she might mave multiple personality disorder. AWESOME!!! I cant wait until the evil Britney comes out and follows her around like the evil Link in Zelda 3. I think it was Zelda 3. There is something about watching someone with no talent and a shitload of unearned cash spiral down into the deepest circles of hell. Oh yeah and its better when they have a nasty choch too. Everyone saw the upskirt pictures of her. Now, when youre a kid and have no frame of pussy reference, the idea of pussy alone is enough to 'get the job done'. When you get older and start engaging in competitive sport fucking you start to realize there are some hatchet wounds that you just dont want to put your pal into. Shes got one. I think we can all remember that pic, if not, here it is...
Yuck dude. Take a look at the domain name on the URL. Britney has gone from America's sweetheart to a dumpsterslut. Back to the pussy thing though: if youre going to not wear panties and let everyone see your snatch... maybe you should make sure it doesn't have a fucking 5 o'clock shadow. Thats the pussy of a depressed diner waitress, not a chick who made out with Madonna.
In conclusion, there is nothing funny about a family being torn apart, kids losing their mother, or young promising lives being destroyed by drugs and insanity, unless its Britney Spears. I can't wait to see what happens next. Last year was great with the shaved head, losing her kids, nailing cars with umbrellas and stints in re-hab. Awesome, thats a slice of Americana.

Anxiously awaiting the next big spectacle...

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