INTERNATIONAL FREAKSHOW AND WORLD'S GREATEST ONE-GLOVED PEDOPHILE DIES IN CREEPY CHILD-LIKE MANSION IN CALIFORNIA. A NATION MOURNS.
What a guy. His funeral bankrupted California. Talk about the king of the freaks sticking it to the State of clowns. That'd be like if Osama Bin Laden's funeral bankrupted Al Qaeda.
ANNOYING GUY WHO NEVER STOPPED YELLING THANKFULLY FOUND DEAD IN HIS HOME. A NATION MOURNS.
I guess I feel bad that this guy is dead. He never really pissed me off, aside from the yelling and slight lisp. I will say this... his pitch technique almost always made me not want to buy anything he was selling. So his shtick worked in reverse on me, but nevertheless it worked.
OLD MAN WITH HEALTH ISSUES DIES AT 86. WHY IS THIS NEWS? A NATION MOURNS.
We expected this guy to hang on? Look at him. He looks like an extra on "The Sopranos : The Autumn Years" Whats with the velour track suit? Oh well. See ya Ed.
FAMOUS NIPPLE DIES. A NATION MOURNS
I bet alot of guys out there who jerked off to this poster fantasized about fucking Farrah Fawcett up the ass, and I hope the irony is not lost on them. That being said, she is the one celeb that we lost that I feel genuinely sorry for. She was overshadowed by the prince of jackass's death and Farrah was pushed to the back. Plus, she was gorgeous in her day. RIP Farrah
Death is a part of life. Or so they say. Either way when its a famous person we tend to care a bit more than say, oh I don't know a war hero or somebody like that. We give air-time and extravagant funerals to perverts though, and dammit, we're the best at that. God Bless the USA.
1 comment:
You likely never bought a product from Billy Mays because couldn't afford it/don't have a credit card.I bet b/c you think you don't need them, I'm sure, but a dirty bastard who writes for a poorly designed blog could use some products that I'm sure would help the B.O. that you likely have. Yea, fuck Billy Mays and his family. Fuck making an honest living while achieving some accidental level of fame. I'm sure you have a better job there anyway.
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/pitchmen-remembering-billy/
Keep up the great work, I didn't read about these deaths 3 weaks ago on this very blog...from you and the better writer. What's next, you going to tell us what's in Al Capone's tomb? Crack that breaking story, Gerry Rivera, I can't wait.
PS - I misspelled "weeks" to "weaks" on purpose so you have a comeback or sorts. Do the world and yourself a favor and don't forget to gargle with mouthwash before talk your shitty diatribes, Tolstoy.
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