Thursday, May 8, 2008

Why I Will Never Watch, "The Notebook"

I like to consider myself something of a movie buff. I watch a ton of movies all ranging from silent films to current day supermegaboner box office hits. I give everything a chance. Movies are a legitimate artistic medium and I believe they all, to some degree of another, have merit. I will never watch the Fucking Notebook. Every girl from here to hell seems to automatically orgasm at the mere mention of it. The movie has taken on something of a mythic proportion. AIM away messages, (see my post on them) profile quotes, hell even ring tones are dedicated to whatever sappy line is currently making them teary eyed and gushy. Enough is enough.

When I see a quote from that movie in any form on the net, posted by anyone, guy or girl my fucking blood boils. Not a quote from the Bible, Koran, Torah, Declaration of Independence, Gettysburg Address, Constitution, hell even the Communist Manifesto.... no I am forced to read something from a movie which was created for the supreme reason of making money on the fragile hearts of young girls. If you didn't think we were going to hell before, well guess again. Some movies can be categorized by the majority as, masterpieces. Goodfellas, The Third Man, Gone With The Wind, Citizen Kane, Fight Club... the list goes on and on. Sit any girl down to watch any of these movies and more than likely mid-way through she'll get up and walk away. Show her a movie with some guy with a five o'clock shadow going through some sort of romance related hell and a scene where to people make out in the rain and she'll probably cry like a fucking pansy.

Ladies, you don't have to be the stereotypical ditz that loses her shit when the boy gets the girl in these kinds of movies. Anyone who has experienced love knows that for all the wonderful moments that it presents us, there's and equal number of moments that feel like you've been sodomized in half by a horse. Do you want men to treat you equally? Do you want women to treat you equally? Do you want to me looked at as intellectuals? If so, it may be a good idea not to fall to pieces at a pre-dertemined time, put into a movie purposely by a billion dollar industry that feeds on your emotions. If Hollywood only made movies for one whole year, along the lines of the movies nominated for best picture last year, i.e. No Country For Old Men, There Will Be Blood... you'd see Brad Pitt driving around L.A. in a fucking Scion. Doesn't work that way.

I agree that movies, essentially, are made to entertain... but when entertainment becomes a model for you to deal with real-life situations concerning love, or the human heart in general, it's time to stand up and look in the mirror. What do you see? I'll tell you honey... I see a bonifide dipshit. Wake up... and for God's sake put on some make up.

P.S. Ladies, go to Blockbuster this weekend, and just pick a random movie... something you've never heard of. Go online and post a quote from it. Do something unique. Oh and once you're done put on something tight and go out and use what God gave you. For my sake.

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